


decisions

by constellatixns



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Gen, I'm so sorry, Lucretia-centric, TAZ - Freeform, hints of Magnus/Lucretia, the adventure zone - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 11:40:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14768903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/constellatixns/pseuds/constellatixns
Summary: Sometimes, there are only decisions.Or: Lucretia's perspective of what happened that fateful night the IPRE lost their memories.





	decisions

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in like two hours, and it's not beta-read, so any mistakes are my own. Thanks for reading!

Sometimes, there are just decisions.

Lucretia has always been the self-sacrificing type. The type that tells Magnus to take the unconscious twins and run back to the Starblaster when they’re cornered by the Hunger’s minions, it’s okay, she can handle them. The type that dives back into a shark-infested ocean to rescue Merle and Barry, even if she can barely swim. The type to take the entire weight of the universe onto her shoulders, even if it means losing everything and everyone she’s ever cared about.

She’s lost so, so much. The others have, too. She’s sick of losing; she’s sick of running and hiding and dying over and over again. 

It is never going to be easy.

She’s standing, now, in the kitchen of the Starblaster, looking out the window on this perfect, perfect world. It’s ironic how they’re going to end at almost the same spot where they started: hovering in the atmosphere above a planet they will call home.

Around the table behind her, Taako, and Magnus are roaring with laughter. Lucretia doesn’t need to turn around to know that Barry is smiling wryly at Merle, who is cursing himself for losing yet another round of cards, and Davenport is chuckling into his mug of tea.

Lucretia looks at them anyways, trying to memorize the color of Magnus’ hair, the arrangement of flowers Merle has blooming in his beard, the exact tilt of Davenport’s glasses, the way Taako’s smile is just that much sharper than Lup’s used to be, how Barry looks at Taako like he can’t believe what he lost. 

Magnus catches Lucretia’s eye and calls, “Come play a round with us!”

“Better yet, go help out the old man over there!” Taako sniggers.

“Hey, I would have won, but someone decided to cheat.” Merle says. “Hell, both – you’re older than me.”

There is a pause before Taako says primly, “It’s rude to ask an elf their age,” and it’s so unlike his personality that the table dissolves into laughter again. 

Something twists in Lucretia’s rib cage, and she says softly, “I’m okay, Magnus,” even though she knows no one can hear her. 

This is the happiest they’ve been in a while. It’s only appropriate to end it now.

Lucretia slips out of the kitchen and heads down the hall to her room. The walls are illuminated a shivering blue by the glow of Fisher in its tank. She pulls a small glass vial out of her pocket and dips it into the tank, swirling the silvery voidfish ichor around before gulping it down.

The journals sit on a heap on top of her unmade bed. They spill onto the floor, on top of her nightstand. They crowd her bookshelf and her desk. One hundred years of history, soon to be gone.

“This is the right thing to do,” Lucretia says to herself, but her voice shakes and her hands tremble as she picks up the first journal. 

The leather cover is cool to the touch, and she can’t stop herself from flipping through the pages. There, in her scratchy handwriting, are the records of the barfight the night before the Starblaster took off and the apocalypse came. Here, in smeared ink, is what Lucretia wrote about the Animal Kingdom. She spots a sketched drawing of the Light of Creation and she shuts the journal. She’s doing the right thing. She’s making amends.

Lucretia runs her hands over the worn cover of her first journal. Now, more than ever, she feels old. She is a one hundred and eighteen year old soul living in an eighteen year old’s body, and her world is about to end. None of this is fair, she thinks, and she takes a deep breath before she holds out the journal to Fisher. None of this has ever been fair.

Fisher takes the journal with a happy hum, and the room brightens as it glows, consuming the information inside. Lucretia picks up another journal, and another and another, watching Fisher devour their history. Outside, she can hear muffled conversations. She clears the bookshelf and desk of journals, and soon the nightstand is empty, too. There’s slow, clumsy footsteps from the hallway. Lucretia speeds up until she’s practically throwing the journals at Fisher, who is shining brilliantly.

The door creaks open as Lucretia picks up the very last journal. It’s Magnus. He looks at her, dazed, and he has to hold onto the doorframe to stay upright.

“Lucretia?” he says. His voice is slurred. “Wh–what’re you doing?”

Lucretia can’t stop the tears spilling over in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Magnus,” she whispers. She looks from the journal in her hands to Magnus, now lying on the ground, to Fisher, glowing in its tank. 

Fisher consumes the final journal with a flash of brilliant white light. 

Lucretia carries Magnus out the door. Taako is standing on the deck of the Starblaster with a haunted look in his eyes. Davenport is kneeling with his hands covering his head, mumbling his name over and over. Merle is sitting in the kitchen, the forgotten cards lying on the table as he gazes into empty space. Barry is nowhere to be seen.

Sometimes, there are just decisions.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos or comments if you enjoyed this!


End file.
